In Cuba: Youth, Love and Sex

 

 From his lips come the words love and sex, by simple skin contact. Everything depends on the individual and the moment. Unlike previous generations, large sectors of Cuban youth naturally resolve the eternal conflict between feeling and carnal pleasure.

With a candid gesture, Laura Torres confesses to IPS that "one does not have to love everyone." "Now you can choose more than before and do better in relationships," says the working of a glass shop of 20 years.

Since the 90's, research on this population group revealed new values \u200b\u200babout love and sexuality. Depending on the volume entitled "Cuba: youth in the 90", Center for Youth Studies (CESJ), Union of Young Communists were behind the myth of virginity and sex only within marriage.

As elsewhere in the world, is accelerating the pace of life and, therefore, that of sexual and emotional ties. "A relationship can start faster and finish quicker, but there is still love in a more rapid," he told IPS Alejandro Menendez, a university student of 23 years.

Without thinking twice, Matamoros Denis Ray says he is in love. At 26 years, this feeling has only once professed to someone who was well worth the risk of circumventing the routine of everyday life. This employee of a store thinks that "most young people did not love."

Speaking to IPS, Natividad Guerrero, director of CESJ, reveals that young people often refer to "the other who does not love", although much of this age sector itself falls. "The diversity of values \u200b\u200bis such diversity of people acting and moving in terms of sexuality is such that there is everything," he said.

However, a 2009 survey by the National Statistics Office (NSO) to a sample of people between 12 and 49 years showed that most respondents preferred partner, both men and women as among men who have sex with men (MSM).

Unlike men, they prefer more lasting and committed relationships. That survey, which included more than 28,000 people around the country, said that 67.5 percent of women aged 20 to 24 surveyed said they prefer to share long periods with the same partner, while 73 gave the same answer , 8 percent of those between 25 and 29.

According to the NSO, the average age of onset of sexual relations in Cuba is 16. Males start at 15, while girls and MSM at 16. This development is in line with global data, which indicate an average of between 10 and 14 years, according to expert sources.

Protected by sexual prejudices broken by their parents and together with the increase in marriages among teenagers is increasingly comes close in age to sex to children, from an average of between 14 and 16 years of the late twentieth century, according to the Population Fund United Nations.

Since the 60's, this island was expanded opportunities for women, a process that eventually became known as the "revolution within the Revolution." The youth of this stage was marked by relations "more open and participatory," according to sociologist Maria Isabel Dominguez.

Still, after more than 40 years, while choosing a partner university for the intelligence and values, the men of the same means in the first place are still looking feminine beauty, told IPS Dominguez, director of the State Research Center Psychological and Sociological.

The most recent change went into production in the 90's with the start of the opening of public debate the issues of homophobia, a trend that was consolidated in the past decade with a wide public campaign for respect for freedom of sexual orientation and the emergence of informal groups meeting over the issue.

"Diversity, luckily, is much discussed in public places, but still abused at the level of general comments," said Guerrero, who found that "young people today are more open" in the subject than previous generations. A survival despite the stigma to the "different", the biologist Isbel Diaz estimates now assume more daylight and in early ages the condition of lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans. Right after 20 years amid of his college career, he took the step that is commonly known as "coming out."

But "not because there is increased respect, not tolerance in Cuban society, especially for a further discussion of the topic in the media," he ponders. For Diaz, this refers to the sexual freedom advocated by the youth regardless of their orientation.

Ana Lorena Bermudez tested for the first time in its 22 years of living together under one roof with Alejandro Menéndez. Both study in college and joins similar thoughts about human relationships. For her, "partner does not necessarily have to be two people, can be three because they feel and work."

In another era, flush appear on the face of a young man like Menendez or never mention possible links, beyond convention. With genuine peace, said, "can get another man, another woman, as far as something definite and thought within the family ... if the couple wants to put limits"

 

Ivet González
IPS
http://www.actup.org/

Gay Ex Basketball Player Talks About Kobe & Homophobia In Sports

John Amaechi, who played professional basketball from 1995 to 2003, including five seasons with three NBA teams, came out as gay to the mainstream after his playing career ended. The 6-10 center-forward wrote a book, Man in the Middle, about being a gay professional athlete. Close friends and some teammates knew of Amaechi's sexuality during his basketball career. He is now a psychologist working in the USA and Britain.

• 
  By Chris Goodney, Bloomberg News
  Former NBA center-forward John Amaechi, who came out as gay after his career, is now a psychologist based in the USA and Britain.

Enlarge

Amaechi spoke to USA TODAY NBA reporter J. Michael Falgoust about Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryantusing an expletive-filled homophobic slur directed at NBA referee Bennie Adams during Tuesday's game against the San Antonio Spurs. The NBA fined Bryant $100,000, and he explained his choice of words as "frustration during the heat of the" nationally televised game.

• SLUR: Bryant fined $100K for sideline remark

Amaechi also reacted to the incident earlier this season when two Toronto Raptors teammates were vilified for holding hands as they walked off the court.

Q: What was your first impression when you heard Bryant's remark?

A: I'm surprised that people are surprised. This is common language when I played. It was an everyday word that I heard. I haven't seen anything new put in place (by the NBA) to tackle homophobia. There's no reason for it to somehow get better.

Q: And what do you think of Bryant's statement of "apology"?

A: I suppose that's the typical, "I apologize if you're offende"' type of comment. I doubt very much when he said that that he thought Bennie was a pile of sticks. There's only one contemporary meaning for that.

The problem we have now is because of the way we don't address homophobia, the ultimate insult to a man is to tell them either they're like a woman or worse, that they're gay.

We have to take it as unacceptable as a white person screaming the N-word at a black person. … I can tell you that I've been called a f——- fairly routinely, and yet people seem to hold off on calling me the N-word. We've got to mirror that progress.

Q: Then you're on board with organizations such as GLAAD and the Human Rights Campaign, which didn't think the penalty was sufficient?

A: I'm not interested in seeing Kobe punished. What I'm interested in is if you're really sorry, that this is a one-off mistake for you, use the power you have to make a difference. That means a proper apology and doing something with his brand. Good Lord, he's got the power with one executive decision to get people moving and do something good here. Do something good.

I've said this before and I know people think it's hyperbole, but especially in America, people look at sports stars like their gods. I keep saying every time, "If sports stars are gods it's time we see a miracle every once in a while." This is an opportunity for that.

Q: If you were the NBA commissioner, how would you have punished Bryant?

A: There would certainly be a fine. I'd like to know what the response would be if a white and gay player had called Kobe a n-----. My concern is that the penalty axed on that player would be greater than this penalty.

But at the same time, what I would want is to encourage Kobe to use the power he has to really make an apology that means something. Tell black men, men in general in America, that resorting to that sort of language is the lowest of the low and is unacceptable. And it doesn't make you any more of a man. That's really the answer. Saying you didn't mean it is not the answer.

Q: Do you think the remark makes Bryant homophobic?

A: The reason it's difficult is because of how influential he is. When he talks, not just young people but sports fans in general listen. They mimic. He sets a tone that says, "This is acceptable language when you are frustrated." It isn't acceptable language. That's the larger extent of the damage. That's like a Glenn Beck non-apology. With a few more words well-chosen he could do some good.

I don't think he is any more homophobic than the average person, or most certainly your average person in sports. When you're in the spotlight, when a camera is trained on your face on a daily basis, you don't have the luxury of losing control. When you do, I like to see people be a little more contrite than that.

Q: Does this discourage an NBA player who might ponder coming out to his team from doing so?

A: Let's face it, any gay teammate he has, any gay player playing on a team that he plays against is now, as they were before probably, critically aware that the ultimate insult that someone uses to put someone down is talking about you. That does want to make you take a step back and think again about whether you want to really open yourself up to that extra animosity.

I'm not interested in equality for any kind of warm and fuzzy reason. I'm in psychology now. I'm interested in performance. The fact is, if you've got teams of these numbers, it is unlikely that there is not someone around him — whether it be coaching staff, auxiliary staff, support staff, medical staff or a teammate — who is lesbian, gay or bi. When you use language like that you're pulling your team apart even if it's just your support staff.

Photo By Chris Goodney, Bloomberg News

By J. Michael Falgoust, USA TODAY

http://www.usatoday.com/

Former NBA center-forward John Amaechi, who came out as gay after his career, is now a psychologist based in the USA and Britain.

Combating Homophobia in Sports>Kobe Fined 100K Still Gets 200K for Match

BY NOREEN FAGAN - In celebration of the Day of Pink, Brian Burke, Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs accepted the youth Role Model of The Year Award from Jer's Vision.

Burke was given the award for his work in addressing homophobia in sports. Xtra sat down with Burke before the event.

"I am honoured but my entrée into this line of work I would have preferred to avoid. I think my son has made a difference in the lives of young people in the LGBTQ community and I am determined to continue that if I can. Poorly suited maybe, I am big rough guy and I polarize people so I am not sure I am the best advocate but I also think it helps having a hockey guy who is a macho guy," said Burke.

He continued to talk about his interaction with the gay community - "it's a much kinder group"   - and about his son Brendan coming out in 2009. A year after he came out Brendan died in a car accident.

"Brendan went on TSN and talked about it from coast to coast. And the sick part of that was after he came out I said to him 'you better keep your head on the swivel a little while.' Its pretty tragic when that's the advice you have to give to your son."

Burke accepted his award with grace and gave an emotional speech about combating homophobia in sports.

Homophobia in sports is prevalent and there need to be more people out there breaking down the barriers. It doesn't help when basketball players like Kobe Byrant have a tantrum and yell "fucking fag" at the referee who issued a foul.

At least Byrant was fined $100,000 and according to reports he did apologize to Human Rights Campaign president, Joe Solmonese.

Illinois Senator Tries To Sneak Through an Anti-Gay Adoption Bill

Just when things start going pretty well, something pops up and throws a wrench in the whole endeavor. That’s how it is for me, anyway, and that’s how it is for LGBT people living in Illinois this week.

It only took a couple of months after Illinois Governor Pat Quinn signed the civil union bill into law for the haters to strike again. State Senator David Koehler has slipped an amendment that would make it legal for religious institutions to discriminate against LGBT people in adoption and foster care.

Oh, and did I mention that the bill this is attached to is designed to help the blind? That’s low, man.

So, I guess it’s more important to allow religious adoption agencies to be allowed to turn away perfectly good parents for no good reason, than to allow kids who need parents to live with gay people. All in the name of God, I guess. This is just another instance where people try to hide behind religion in order to justify personal biases, and the legislature totally has their backs.

Sometimes I feel like I’m missing something very important that makes this make sense. But the more I think about it, the more confused I get. Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong.

To attach this amendment to a bill that is designed to help the blind is a truly insidious act. Who wants to vote against blind people? Sen. Koehler knows he doesn’t have the support; otherwise, why try to hide it? If anti-gay representatives are going to try to force a hateful bill through legislators, they should be forced to do it in the light of day, where their policy positions can be subject to the ridicule they deserve.

This is an attempt by Illinois legislators to roll back the civil union law that hasn’t even gone into effect yet.Tell the Illinois senate to reject such an amendment and any bill to which it is attached. It’s the right thing to do.

Photo credit: nathanmac87

Mindy Townsend is a recent law graduate.

http://www.blogger.com

Zachary Lyle Spader Swindled Habitat for Humanity

Zachary Lyle Spader: Not a do-gooder.

​Habitat for Humanity is in the business of making people's lives better by helping them build their own homes.

Zachary Lyle Spader, a Habitat employee, was in the business of making the organization's life worse: He swindled it out of $90,000.

We told you about this guy last year. As manager of Habitat's ReStore in New Brighton, which sells building materials, Spader would accept store returns for cash and then funnel the money into his own pocket.

He confessed to supervisors in May after auditors found tens of thousands of dollars unaccounted for, and was fired in pretty short order once the scope of the crime became apparent.

Spader pleaded guilty in March to one count of theft by swindle in deal that also dimissed two other charges. Yesterday he learned his sentence: 60 days in jail, five years of probation, and an order to pay restitution.

But that may not be the end of the story. The charges only covered the 17 months that Spader worked at the New Brighton store once it moved moved there from North Minneapolis. Police say there may be evidence against Spader predating the move.

By Hart Van Denburg

http://blogs.citypages.com

On Their First Date Thrown Out of a London Pub for kissing.

Jonathan Williams and James Bull were ejected from the John Snow pub in London apparently for kissing in public. Photograph: Linda Nylind for the Guardian

At what point does public intimacy tip over from a touching display of innocent romance into offensive vulgarity? Jonathan Williams and James Bull found themselves triggering a public debate on the subject when they were thrown out of a London pub for kissing.

Williams, a journalist for a financial magazine, and Bull, a charity volunteer, said they had been ejected from the John Snow in Broadwick Street, Soho, central London, on Wednesday by a woman – claiming to be the landlady – who accused them of being "obscene" while out on their first date.

The two men deny having behaved in any unseemly way. "We weren't being over the top; there wasn't anything that would be deemed unseemly," Williams said. "I'm not the kind of person to do that kind of thing in public."

While the management at the John Snow were unimpressed by Williams and Bull's embraces – which one bystander told the Guardian amounted to "snogging, but it wasn't heavy petting" – the lovestruck pair found rather more support on Twitter and Facebook, even inspiring plans for a "kiss-in" event at the pub next week.

Williams, 26, and Bull, 23, had enjoyed a dinner in Covent Garden before heading for the John Snow to indulge a shared passion – the pub's cider. "It's a nice little pub, it's a nice atmosphere," Williams said. The pub is near the heart of London's "gay village" but does not style itself as a gay bar. "The people are friendly, it's not too expensive considering the area and it's a decent pub where you can just relax," Williams added.

Their peace was shattered when a fellow drinker, who claimed to be the landlord, asked them to refrain from kissing because it was "bothering" him. Williams and Bull said they were not indulging in a "huge display of affection" but were merely kissing on the lips. The couple refused what they said was a "polite request" and their stay continued unhindered. At about 10.45pm, a woman who said she was the landlady intervened. Bull said he was putting on his coat to leave and had given Williams "a peck on the lips" when the woman, who was wearing a staff uniform, came up to them. "She said we had to leave because we were being obscene. Then the other guy from earlier came over again and said we had to leave now, we 'weren't allowed to do that'." Bull and Williams said the man took hold of Williams's coat lapels as he asked them to leave the pub, and fellow drinkers joined in the pair's protestations of innocence.

Lucy Clements, a 27-year-old production manager, and Jamie Morton, neither of whom know Bull or Williams, were sitting at the next table and witnessed the events. Clements said: "I was totally shocked. Dumbfounded really. From a pub in the middle of Soho you just don't expect it."

She added that "no one seemed to mind apart from this one man". She said she spoke to bar staff who confirmed the man who raised the first objections was the landlord, before both she and Morton were also asked to leave.

Bull, who said he was physically sick after the confrontation, called police when he got home. They came and took a statement. "I felt so belittled, and to be made to feel so dirty and cheap over something like that – it's just wrong," he said. Williams turned to Twitter to complain about the ordeal."Seven years in London & I've never been made to feel bad for being gay. 45 min ago the John Snow pub, W1F had me removed for kissing a date." His post was retweeted dozens of times and inspired the scheduling of a Facebook kiss-in event at the John Snow next Thursday, which pledged: "Let's show them just how fun same-sex salaciousness can be when it's filling up the pub."

More than 200 have said they will attend, with one opportunist posting: "Of course I'm doing this for the principle, but there's a male friend I've always wanted to snog, and this is the perfect excuse."

The John Snow is one of about 300 pubs in the UK operated by the Samuel Smith brewery. Bull and Williams said they had not yet complained to the company, but planned to do so later. When the Guardian called the pub twice, a woman said: "Can you just stop calling this number please, or we'll have you done for harassment."

A spokeswoman for the Metropolitan police said: "Police are investigating an incident which occurred at approximately 10.50pm last night at a venue in Broadwick Street, W1. There have been no arrests and inquiries are ongoing."

The case is intriguing legally. The Licensing Act 2003 gives a landlord the right to eject customers. But the Equality Act 2010 says everyone must be treated equally in the provision of goods and services. For a successful defence against any legal action under the act, the landlord would have to prove he had ejected heterosexual couples for similiarly overt displays of intimacy.

•  by  Adam Gabbatt
• guardian.co.uk

Anti-equality campaigner comes out in favor of same-sex marriage

Six years ago, Louis Marinelli sat down in his dorm room at the University of Northern Iowa and, as many college students do, started a Facebook group.

"Protect Marriage: One Man, One Woman," he named it, then watched it grow to more than 280,000 contributing members. A few years later, in the summer of 2010, Marinelli would be crisscrossing the country, driving an RV for the National Organization for Marriage's Summer for Marriage 2010 tour and making practice of calling homosexuals "abominations" with "deviant" habits.

When he created that Facebook page, and when he first boarded that RV emblazoned with pictures of happy hetero families and wedding bands on the side, he had no idea that he would be publicly declaring his support for same-sex marriage and turning in his resignation to NOM on April 8, 2011.

He most certainly had no idea that the very "abominations" he had been shouting down online for the last half-decade would be the reason he changed his mind.

Now, after five years as an outspoken voice against same-sex marriage, Marinelli is fumbling for direction. He's sure of at least three things: He's still a conservative, he wants to work to support same-sex marriage, and he wants to bring down the National Organization for Marriage (NOM).

"It's about the greater good," he told Raw Story. "Doing the right thing, in my opinion, is to ensure that every American has equal rights and the freedom to marry. Is it more important to preserve my friendship with NOM and stay good with them, or is it more important for my neighbors to have their rights? Their rights are more important than preserving myself, and my livelihood."

Marinelli has unleashed a barrage of insider information about the conservative NOM through blog posts in the last week.

 In addition to "coming out" in support of same-sex marriage, Marinelli has blasted NOM by exposing its small base of support and leaking its plans to create what he calls a propaganda program — which Marinelli claims he was slated to lead.

To understand how this man went from literally driving the bus to help prevent same-sex marriages to embarking on a crusade for equality, you first have to understand how it began.

---

"I have to this day a kind of Cinderella-like image of what I want my marriage to be like," he said. "I want a family, I want my bride to have a Tiffany ring. I want a very traditional style and setting of a wedding."

Worried that same-sex marriage would turn marriage into merely a social contract, Marinelli looked for a group that focused on keeping the legal of definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

"I extended that to the point where it was the only valid type of family that should exist. I saw the legalization of same-sex marriage as something that would tarnish that."

Rather than have his sterling daydream tarnished, Marinelli created Protect Marriage, the first conservative group focusing solely on marriage, as he recalls. He was savvy with social media, working his blog, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter to a following of nearly 300,000.

NOM was founded in 2007, but didn't hit Marinelli's radar until 2008, when he started working in tandem with the group. All donations made to Marinelli's Protect Marriage group were transferred to NOM's education fund, and Marinelli and Brian Brown, NOM's president, were in touch. Last spring, Marinelli noticed that NOM's social network was somewhat anemic.

"They had 7,000 fans, I had 280,000," he said. "I contacted Brian Brown, and said we have a common goal, and I have a larger network. I’m going to let you use that. By March 2010, I was contractually working with NOM."

By then, Marinelli was peppering his writings with the "research" of Paul Cameron, which claimed that homosexuals had shorter lifespans (the American Psychological Association, the American Sociological Association, the Canadian Psychological Association and the U.S. District Court of Dallas have all disavowed Cameron for misrepresenting his gay and lesbian subjects; the ASA issued a statement that said, "Paul Cameron is not a sociologist"), and had turned the dial up on the rest of his anti-gay rhetoric, including claiming that LGBT people were "hijacking the civil rights movement" and only cared about themselves.

Marinelli masterminded and routed NOM's summer bus tour, climbed behind the wheel and away he went, essentially his first time working as an activist out in the field instead of online.

He started the tour on a high, but by August something began nagging at Marinelli. In St. Louis, he took a break from photographing the counter-protesters that showed up to every rally and sat on a bench to soak up the sunshine. Anthony Ash, a man with the pro-equality Courage Campaign who had been following NOM's tour and shoving cameras in Marinelli's face at every chance, sat down next to him — no cameras, no tape recorders. The two sat in the sun and chatted for a few minutes.

"I began to understand that this person was directly and negatively affected by my work," said Marinelli. "I was able to put a face on the issue. No longer did I have just a nameless political opponent without a face."

The spool had begun to unravel.

On the tour's next stop, in Atlanta, turnout for the rally was much lower than Marinelli had expected, and the counter-protest across the street was roaring. Marinelli began taking pictures of the crowd, as he did at every stop, but lost heart in the face of the hundreds of people standing to oppose him.

"They were just inspiring," he said. "They presented themselves as highly inspiring, and that was the first time I thought to myself, 'What am I doing here?' I walked away from them. I realized they were right and I was wrong, and what we were doing was wrong."

--

Fast-forward to January 2011.

The seed of doubt that had been planted over the summer had blossomed into a need for Marinelli to take action. While still working for NOM, he changed his blog's focus from marriage to conservative issues as a whole, and took back the administrative reins to the group's Facebook page.

He even quietly arranged an interview with Jeremy Hooper for his LGBT politics site, Good As You — a coming-out, of sorts — and asked him to hold it until the time was right. In the meantime, he began leaking Hooper tips on NOM's hypocrisies and tactics.

Hooper said he was skeptical of Marinelli at first, but he "completely proved himself as someone who was really big on honor and trust."

Marinelli had to trust Hooper as well: "He gave me this information with the understanding that he would lose his job if I went public with it," Hooper told Raw Story.

While Marinelli searched for the perfect exit strategy — and a new source of income — Hooper waited until he could wait no more. After Maryland's House failed to find the votes to pass a same-sex marriage law, Hooper put the pressure on, unable to bear the thought that Marinelli's story may have changed a few minds in the House and yielded a victory.

Finally, last Friday, the day arrived.

Almost simultaneously, Marinelli sent Brown (NOM's president and Marinelli's direct superior) his letter of resignation, a post declaring his change of heart went up on Marinelli's site and Hooper's lengthy interview with Marinelli went live.

Today, Marinelli says he'd "like to make reparation on the past [and] pay for some of the damage I've done."

He's making himself available to equality organizations, and has already sent out a fundraising email blast for Courage Campaign, encouraging people to donate as little as $5 for each year he worked with NOM. Committed as he now is to "the greater good," as he says, it's somewhat surreal for Marinelli to now work with the counter-protesters he photographed last summer.

"I’ve spent so long attacking these people, to be honest, but 95 percent of the responses I’ve received have been positive," he said. "They’ve been nothing but kind and supportive. It’s surreal that they would come to my support when I’ve been the complete opposite for them the last five years."

There are also rumors of NOM filing suit against Marinelli, but he made sure to obtain and review a copy of his privacy agreement with the organization before resigning. Hooper doesn't think NOM "has a legal leg to stand on."

If they do, however, Marinelli has three words for them: I'm not afraid.

"If they want to go after me, that’s their agenda," he said. "They like to sue, and they always have something up their sleeve. I was contacted by Brian Brown, who said that the statements I’ve made are a violation, he thinks. I think it’s intimidation and they want me to be quiet. By emailing me and telling me they’re considering legal action is a way to try and get me to hesitate before I speak again. I’m not afraid. I’m dedicated to helping the cause of marriage equality. I don’t think we’re going to win by being confidential about the truth. If I can help millions of people earn their civil rights, that’s what I need to do."

NOM did not respond to Raw Story's requests for comment.

Brian Brown, NOM's president, has only made one public statement about Marinelli's departure, in a blog post announcing the organization's new Facebook page.

"Louis Marinelli worked in a volunteer capacity as a bus driver during our summer marriage tour," Brown wrote. "Around this time, NOM began to pay him as a part-time consultant for helping us expand our internet reach. He has since chosen a different focus. We wish him well."

Marinelli unpublished his popular Facebook page last week, leaving NOM to start from scratch. They had less than 600 "fans" at time of this story's publication, and the majority of posts on their wall were pro-equality.

By Kase Wickman

Edited by Stephen C. Webster.

http://www.rawstory.com/rs